The music was loud, people were surrounding me on all sides. Like everyone else, I was dancing, twirling, and shaking my hips to the beat of the music. I was laughing and getting others around me to join in. That’s when I saw him. He was looking at me with a wildly attractive smirk on his face. I came up to him but he said nothing. I eventually said ‘hi’ and so did he. I danced with all of his friends for he refused, just watching and smirking all the while. This didn’t last long enough, not long after, I was practically dragged out of that room with not so much as a goodbye to that interesting boy who I just saw. I honestly believed that would be the last time I saw him and I felt great remorse for not getting so much as a phone number.
Not even two months later, we were in the same situation, loud music, surrounded by many other people. There he was, standing sort of off to the side of the room, his friends all dancing around him while he shuffled from foot to foot. I whispered to my friend, “That’s him” and she gave me a knowing nod and continued dancing. I glanced over to him, not believing my eyes. And our eyes met from across the room and he smirked that same smirk that I knew from months before. I made my way over to him, and he did the same to me.
“Care to dance?” I looked up into his eyes and asked him with challenge in my voice
“It would make my night.” he replied with his deep, smooth voice. I remember blushing and leading him by the arm, then his hands and we danced. I definitely knew I felt something for this wildly attractive boy that was standing right in front of me, dancing with me. It was a Friday and I knew that both of our schools would be staying for the weekend, and he asked me this time “What is your name and would you care to take a swim after this with my friends and I?””
“Maddy,” I replied “And yes I would love to”
A few short hours later and we both had our friends with us, swimming and having a great time. We swam and shared Swedish Fish; eventually midnight rolled around and that meant that we had to return to our rooms, much to my dismay. I sulked back to the girls’ room with my friends and a few new ones that I met along the course of the day. I was messaging one of the boys from his room and then my mood brightened greatly when we had schemed up a grand plan to pull an all-nighter and to sneak the boys in to the girls room.
I remember feeling the adrenaline, tip-toeing alone to the boys room so that the advisers wouldn’t hear a crowd. The boys left their door open a crack so that I could get in without making a noise. I pushed the door open and nodded my head back towards the girls’ room, and put a finger to my lips. He looked at me with a smile and followed along with two of his friends. I open up my door and slid in with him just behind me.
“Hey! It’s past curfew, go back to your room son!” I jumped nearly four feet in the air.
“Yes sir,” he said with obvious dismay in his voice. I looked out the door at him and he looked back and did a telephone motion with his hand up to his ear. I smiled at him as apology, and mouthed “Good Night.” I quietly shut the door and leaned my head against it and smiled. It was the beginning of something wonderful.
What comes to mind? Is it the summer romances? Sitting on the beach while reading a good book? Spending time with those who matter most? For me, this summer is going to be a journey, and NO not a vacation. My journey will consist of self reconstruction and self-discovery. It would be a lie for me to say that I know what I want in life. What I do know is that I want to do it all… I want to travel, and accomplish my fitness goals, and spend time with friends and family, and read countless books while laying on the beach, just as any other sane teenager would say.
You see, after making many poor choices in the past few months: falling grades, driving incidents, and experimenting with my wild side, I have come to a rather sudden decision to clean up my life in ways that seem necessary. I have always been seen as someone that leads: council president, senior counselor, mentor, and activist to name a few. It has occurred to me that who would possibly follow a leader that doesn’t lead by their own example??
So here is my personal promise…
I promise to be clean of any unnecessary wild behaviors, I don’t need any to have fun.
I promise to love only those who love me back, for I’m tired of wasting time.
I promise to follow God more closely, for I have lost touch.
I promise to work less to have more time to enjoy my teenage years.
I promise to be a leader that sticks to her preaching.
I promise to work hard at everything that I do.
I promise to get in touch with nature, and live a simpler life.
I promise to improve who I have become for I am learning from my many mistakes.
This is my promise to myself and the world, that I will discover myself and the world through self reflection, love, dedication, and discovery. THIS is my summer journey ad here I stand, overlooking the road less traveled, it will be a long process but the destination is what I strive for.
“Live the full life of the mind, exhilarated by new ideas, intoxicated by the romance of the unusual.” -Ernest Hemingway